Crystal Clear(Ing)
And I have been asked, what am I doing here? I am an anatomist, thus a surgeon, whose patient, without the benefit of anesthesia, mankind, must undergo the scalpel. There can be no mercy, thus one’s first patient must be oneself.
Christopher S. Hyatt
To not block away in private papers, but to demon straight how a self came, generated, died and rerose within the confines of it’s brain structure. Found it’s Elemental Powers within and transfigured the past, present and future; melting the waters beneath and the petals of rays above into pure Godhead. Onto the next………
The man wanted to walk a different route today. He ventured over East to the bright pool. How long had it been since he came this way? A few years? He had spent hours walking around the circular pathway, contemplating life. He had meditated on the hill above the pond, looking down at the path encircling said pond like a crust. No answers, only more questions. He had heard a voice from inside say “Good, questions are vital; just don’t ask the one fatal question; why? No good will come from it. Not at this stage.” He knew not from which it came.
See because once this man had used this area with his beloved to enjoy life, walk, do strenous exercises to when their gym had closed due to some hyped up outbreak. Weights were brought to this area where stress was worked out, laps were run around the pond; a makeshift Cross Fit gym if you will.
In the seed of this romance a demon was born. For another would be there with them. A betrayal would happen. Hence the avoidance of this land.
When he was ready to live again and not just walk like a zombie asking to be hit by a car, he ventured back over. He walked and contemplated the past. He mediated on the hill above where no one could see. He started to find peace. But why this place? Why a place of regret, hatred scorned from love lost? Something still called him.
He came there on brutally cold and rainy evenings. Better than in the darkness. Better that he faced his structure head on. Brutal to be sure, but this was his four corners to bear. He would not only erect power from positive but from the negative as well. Different corners he would take and just stare at the water. Rooting his atomic makeup on the crust of that water mind.
No fanfare, no crowd cheering him on. Just himself, warts and glory in all. But that voice was still there. Maybe that was all he needed to keep coming back. Because the love of the past was too much to bear. But he had betrayed himself. He knew that only he remained and the remains of the shards lay scattered in the brush.
Eventually coming back over the years he could still be aware of the shards in the brush but the calm of the waters pulled them down. They were still there but not held at a distance. Put up to the reflection of the waters he could see the shine upon(d) them. He could start to see them shift and he followed in toe first. Then up the knees, and to the spine. He submerged for a time, then emerged erect.
He left and lived.
On Monday, May 4th, he came back (where this tale started). How long had it been? How had life changed?
Almost 6 years ago to the date, he bitterly said goodbye to a so called friend in this field. Got his punching bag back from him too. 1 year later almost to the date, he fought that same so called friend in a parking lot a half mile away. Divine tragedy really is Divine Comedy (more on that later).
Those painful experiences molded him into the God he no longer projects outward. He no longer needs an external. He is crystal clear, shiny, symbolic, elemental, transmuted and transfigured. He does not need one soul to validate this nor believe him. He only needs HimSELF. For he was the one who suffered, died and repowered in his own unique way. This is why he is uniquely beautiful.
He learned much over the years but the last lesson on that day was why he had empathized, why he had given and not received. Why his good nature had been taken advantage of. He had tried when all he had to do was be. But that “being” had to have a structure. That structure had to start with stones cast out all along the circular trail leading down to the water beneath. The last stone was now laid. And at the entrance a snake would stand guard in the past. The same snake that followed him out of the water and the garden when he left erect. Now a Cobra stands guard. To stab with venom those who would mistake kindness for a weakness. To greet with a smile those who come in peace. The best part; those who are sent with venom have no remains here. They vanish.
He went to that grassy area where the gym had laid bare. Overgrown with dandelions and brush. Those memories still there but hazily recollected. Not covered up but dealt with. Still, he thought, it would have been nice if it was clear green.
He found something new, a dock overlooking the pond. He came to it and sat down with his back against one of the posts. He looked out onto the waters and meditated in this new spot. After 10 minutes, a dove flew out of the water. It flew so high and beautiful, a pure white being in the sky, free. As it hit the top of it’s flight and started descending back into the water, the man said, “Eye am my son, in whom Eye am well pleased.” And he laughed like a child. He had found a new spot and summoned peace at will. He went home.
On the evening of May 8th he returned. The numerical date in the month not a coincidence. He walked the circular path but first wanted to pick a song on his playlist. He wanted to sing out loud like a madman. He looked around, not a soul in sight. He went with Big Head Todd and the Monsters “Circle.” Everything flooded in and as he walked the crust of his neuro patterns (I mean the pond), he smiled and took in the air, sky, water, green. He walked by that grassy gym area. Mowed and pure green. Then on queue, he sang as loud as he could, “You are the only one I want!!” That was the voice that reverberated back in time to all his former selves; and they heard it and followed!!!
He walked with their power and looked back at them/him as he walked. All the spots he had been, all the shame, degradation, exultation, meditation, formed as one. They/he showered him with love and praise. The point of imprisonment, circled back into the point of liberation and Godship. The only way out really is through.
As he stood looking back, he took a picture. Then he saw where he had just been walking. He was now at the observer point. He did not see himself walking but him as Caesar in a chariot. His servant was also him and he leaned into the ear of Caesar and said, “Remember that all glory is fleeting.”
As him/Caesar turned, he became three heads, all of them himself but also Jesus, Osiris and Dionysus. All three said in one tongue to the servant, “Not if you know how to hold power.” And the servant shot into flames and became Horus. At that point, “It’s in the way that you Use it,” by Eric Clapton started playing on the headphones.
Back in that spot looking out, he saw his sphere of influence. All culminating to this point. Beautiful chaos beautifully ordered. Then a voice from the sky sounding like himself with a microphone. He couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying but knew it was him. He knew now where the voice comes from. The voice in the sky was talking and laughing. “What is he telling jokes?” the man thought. “I always enjoyed my trickster, about time he came out to play again.”
From this vantage point he could see the circle completed but it’s circumference bleeding into the center of the next. A Vesica Pisces created for the King.
The laughter from the sky increased in volume. Divine Comedy from Divine Tragedy came to mind. He thought back to something he heard an overweight Catholic Aussie once say years ago when the abyss opened up and swallowed him whole. It sounded extremely cruel at the time. “God Laughed.”
“How?” he had thought. “How could a just God do this to me? And he would laugh? I won’t follow this God anymore.” And he didn’t. He had emptied himself and made his way back.
With this in mind, looking out at the beauty around his circumference, he chuckled and said, “How could God laugh? Hmmf, how could he not?!”
Scene fades out to the song, “Circle.”
